Upon calling in with ransom demands, Grossman refuses to budge.  He yells out obscenities and hangs up, then explains to Peck why they no longer need Grossman.  He even offers a private jet and a lot of money as a bribe to make Peck forget about him.  Then he and his assistant break out in a silly dance to celebrate Speedman's departure.  Peck begins to wonder about his moral standing with not only his client, but one of his closest friends.

As Speedman is forced to re-enact Simple Jack for the heroin crew's local dwellers (using someone else's teeth, no less), the rest of the actors decide to mount a rescue mission to save him and the others. They start to pack it in for the night to rest up.  Portnoy is tied to a tree, since he's having more of his hallucinations.  It turns out that the "jelly beans" were in fact pieces of heroin, which kept him going through his Fatties movies.  Chino accidentally reveals that he's gay, but then switches right back to his subject of "loving pussy".  Sandusky wishes he had met Jennifer Love Hewitt, a woman that Lazarus dated a while back.

The next morning, Lazarus makes his way to the gate with Portnoy hiding under a cloth and an ox.  They let him in, since he speaks fluent Chinese.  Meanwhile, Sandusky and Chino sneak in from behind, fake guns at the ready.  Portnoy is cut down from the ox, and Lazarus goes to leave, but Tran notices an error in his story.  When he demands a correction, Lazarus pulls out his fake guns and fires away, yelling, "I'm a lead farmer, mother fucker!"  He has Chino watch over the soldiers while he, Portnoy and Sandusky find the others.

Sandusky frees Cody and Tealeaf, who was revealed at first to have hooks for hands but in fact has his real hands.  It's revealed that he's a fake, but he wrote the story in a tribute to his fellow soldiers.  Cody grabs all his explosive gear.  Meanwhile, the soldiers pick up their guns and begin firing at Chino like crazy.

Lazarus locates Speedman, but he's been put into a new frame of mind.  It turns out that a young kid gave him a wooden Oscar for his performance as Simple Jack, something that's been missing in real life.  In return, he's adopted the kid, calling him Half Squat.

Meanwhile, Portnoy gets into a huge fight with Tran.  Tran kicks his ass for the most part, but then Portnoy grabs him and slams him through a railing, crashing onto the ground.  He emerges to find a huge pile of heroin sitting in front of him, ripe for the picking.

Cody manages to blow up a building to distract the soldiers while Tealeaf makes a run for the chopper.  Sandusky runs into Portnoy while he attempts to touch the heroin.  He explains that he doesn't really need it, but Portnoy's tired of being laughed at and grabs two big handfuls.  Two soldiers run into the room to confront them. Portnoy farts, making them laugh.  He knocks them both out with the handfuls of heroin and grabs a weapon.

Lazarus and Speedman begin arguing back and forth about who they really are.  At this point, Lazarus finally breaks out of character, horribly upset.  The others show up and manage to convince them to leave, even though Speedman's still in his current frame of mind. They load into a truck and begin speeding away from the village, but Tran comes with a rocket launcher, which he fires at them.  The rocket blows up the truck, but everyone survives.  They start to get Sandusky out of it, and Speedman snaps back to reality.

They make their way to the chopper just as Cody finishes rigging the bridge with explosives.  They all get in, except for Speedman, who is convinced he can work things out with the locals.  He makes his way back, only to turn right around with Half Squat on his shoulders. When he discovers the kid trying to stab him, he throws him off the bridge into the water.  Tealeaf blows up the bridge just as Speedman makes his way across, but he's wounded and lands just short of the chopper.  Lazarus gets out and consoles him, just as he did in the beginning of the movie.  This time, however, he's showing real tears.

Tran and his soldiers, still alive after the bridge blowing up, come out of the woodwork as Lazarus and Speedman load up into the chopper.  Tran prepares to fire his rocket launcher again when Peck comes running out of nowhere, holding a TiVo unit.  Tran fires, but Peck throws the unit between the rocket and the helicopter, blowing it up.  The helicopter flies away as Peck goes running off into the woods.

Everyone has a happy ending.  Speedman finally gets an Oscar (from Lazarus, no less) for his performance in a film based on the events that happened during filming.  In the audience, Chino gives a big hug to his new gay boyfriend (Lance Bass), while Sandusky gives a kiss to his date -- Jennifer Love Hewitt.  Grossman and his aide watch on TV, mockingly applauding and rolling in the success.  The exec goes off to "take all the credit" as Grossman tells him that a "nutless monkey" could do his job.  He then breaks out into a dance as the credits roll.

By the way, it's revealed that Peck makes it safe and sound.  He's on a chartered flight sipping away at a drink.  Grossman concludes his ridiculous dance and the movie ends.